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1. They have ZERO social life.

2. All they talk about is having ZERO social life.

3. Their best friend is their spouse/significant other.

4. They know the names of characters from Treehouse.

5. They know what Treehouse is, or exactly what channel it’s on (and possibly the only channel they can enter without even looking at the remote control).

6. The home screen of their phone is that of a little person.

7. Their FB profile picture is also of that same little person.

8. They constantly update their FB profile of cute pictures that once again is not of themselves.

9. They have abnormally long conversation with random children (wait, that also applies to pedophiles).

10. They either drive an SUV or a Van (again, pedophiles. Why do I keep thinking of pedophiles?)

11. They assume ever person talking to random children for extended period of time and own a large vehicle is a pedophile.

12. They visit the grocery store more than the average person.

13. Their grocery list almost always has 3.25% homo milk written down.

14. One of their most visited stores is Toys R Us.

15. They always have awesome ideas for a child’s birthday present.

16. They know what an exersaucer is.

17. They are a morning person, when they never were before.

18. They sleep early on Friday nights. (see 1.)

19. They write blogs on a Saturday night. (also see 1.)

20. If you’re reading this right now changes are you are a parent, or you’re interested in becoming one or you’re like one to your niece or nephew.

If all of the above applies to you and you’re Not a parent then you my friend are a PEDOPHILE! Just joking.  Okay just don’t stock my children, plsss.

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